Where does Time Go

As I sit here watching another NCAA championship softball game I wonder where has time flown too.... i have always heard that when you grow up life seems to move faster each and everyday. That is never more true then when you lose someone you are close to and love. Last year on July 15,2010 I celebrated my 15 year anniversary with my husband. While it was to be a special day it was an awful day. Earlier that day I had spent the day with my dad taking him to drs in Charlottesville VA. My three kids were with us that day. We talked about everything under the sun, we even sang camp songs that my kids learned the year before.
That evening while on the way to softball practice mom called and said something is really wrong with dad and she was calling 911. I asked if i needed to come home, and she said no she would call from hospital and that for us to go to practice. we drove to Roanoke about an hr from our house and Tori had just taken a couple of warm up flies when we got the call we needed to come back. While it normally is an hour drive it felt like it was 3 hours. We couldn't get home fast enough. While dad had already passed away no had told me. Just like that someone is gone that you love and there is nothing for you to do. Dad and mom always raised me to believe that God is the one who holds our time clock and when its time to go then its time to punch the ticket to heaven or hell. I have to believe that or I would go crazy in learning to live without my dad.
While everyone doesn't have a perfect relationship there was never one time I questioned my dad's love or undying support. I am so much like him that without him here has been tough. While i always will love my mom its not the same without my dad. As much as you want to be angry that your dad died @ 58 and you are 34 and your children were 11,9,7, you cant because if I am then I go against everything I was ever taught.. The Lord is the one who controls my life and I need to believe that he knows what is best. This hasn't been an easy year, in fact it has been tough. Mom and I all the time argue and fuss at each other, and I have always knew we were different, and dad was always the buffer.. This isn't to say I don't love her but if i hear her say to me you just don't understand your husband is still here one more time I may scream. Did she forget she still has her father and mine isn't here anymore? Sometimes its hard to know what to say when people yell and scream things at you. While I can only excuse grieving for so long, because we all are just in a different way and for different reasons, one being a spouse, best friend, lover and parent. It is frustrating dealing with pain and still trying to understand what other people are going through.
So next month dads anniversary in Heaven will be a year, and 16years of marriage so what do you celebrate the life that is no longer here but having the time of life or our marriage. It definitely will be strange and all this to say that no matter what family is family and this too we shall get through. And so another year has gone here on earth and pray it becomes better through each passing day.

Isnt Life Grand

You know sometimes in life we have trials and tribulations and we have to figure which road to take. Even the working class is being affected by the economy in today's market. You think how did I create such a mess for my family and how did I make such a great decision that would affect our lives. Then you have to take a step back and wonder well if it is only financial I can handle it.If your family still has their health and you are their together going through the bad times you will make it through.
As I sat in the office today and looked at the foreclosures in our area and saw that it isn't that bad.... and you think it isn't that bad???? What about the families it is affecting.. and what about the help our government was suppose to hand to the working class? So then you get to think well if we only had more help and who do you get the help from. We in America have gotten away from helping each other except in any kind of huge crisis that affects the country like 9-11-2001.... or a great storm such as Katrina... so okay why does it take something like that to help other Americans in need. I know many may say well I didn't know the family up the street didn't have any food for the kids tonight or no money for clothes but isn't that because we are too involved with our selves??? I know I am preaching to myself as well. We all get so busy with our own lives we don't look for those whom may be in need. I want my kids to know and understand that even though we may not being doing well, I want them to seek for someone they can help; even if it is being a friend.
Now everything in our life isn't perfect far from it. With financial to health issues which is currently affecting my personal life I still try and look for positive in my daily life. I know through the storms of my life I long and have a burning desire to be closer to Christ. I want to lean on Him more then I ever have in my life. I want my kids to see this so they can look back and say hey mom trusted Christ to pull her through the tough times.
You I finished reading the book 90 Minutes in Heaven the other night and I have to tell you,I got excited about what going to Heaven will be.. I know for now my life is here and that I have not finished my journey on earth; but I know the day I am I will be entering his gates. Oh what a day of rejoicing that will be!!! With Christmas fast approaching you kind of look back and think where has this year gone, what have I done this year that is gonna make a difference in the kingdom in heaven.. So life is grand and it doesn't matter what trials and tribulations you may all be facing Christ is the way and the only way into Heaven. Trust in Him today and your life will never be the same.

Where does time go?

I get onto the blogging web site and realized wow! where did these last few months go?? We have been so busy with the kids ball teams this past spring I didn't even get a chance to blog at all. My oldest was blessed with being chosen for the all star softball team!! She has so much talent!! Her team won district tournament. We unfortunately went out in the first two games in state. My daughter said to me no worries mom next year we will go all the way to nationals but we will lose the 1st two games. It is what has happened from last year to this year.... IE they lost 1st two games in districts last year and won districts this year. They were out in 2 games @ state this year so she says we will win next year..
My boys are very talented too.... they r way to young to make all-stars. Since Feb.many things have happened at the Krone's household. We have almost finished up the huge flower bed that I started last year, we have another dog....and we have spent a lot of quality time together. I have been plagued with my back and feeling so down all the time with no energy. I was in a car wreck a year and half ago. It has now been diagnosed with a back which will require fusion to the spine:) I am so excited I can hardly wait. I am planning to blog about this from the Dr's. visit to the surgery to the recovery:) Of course I have my good days and bad days in the way I feel I will be glad when my feet are no longer cold... I hate cold feet!!
I want to be the mom that God has called me to be, but sometimes I fall very short because of how I feel. Unless you have had an injury such as this there is no way that you could understand how one can barely function.
Well, this entry is kind of a mess and I will most likely try to get it together but for now I must sign off to head to bed!!! It is such a reminder time truly doesn't stand by... Take your loved ones daily and tell them you love them you never know when it may be the last!!!

Motherhood

February 15, 2009

We have just celebrated another holiday. What can I say but the kids get so excited over little things. This weekend went back entirely to fast. My husband and I were able to enjoy a night out for the first time in months. We went to Love for Life, we listened to the speakers and than we were able to enjoy Diamond Rio.... And don't you know that the kids as they get older expect to get what they did last year or at least something equal to what the got last year.

Tori my oldest, didn't really ask for anything, but I had already gotten her gift.. I've had it for months. I love buying items on sale and using them when the time is right, Of course the boys decided that they wanted transformers. So the boys Johnathan and Timothy love that. What I truly love about valentine is that Christ Love is beyond what our infinite minds can truly understand or even know. To know that God gave his son for our sins is just mind blowing. I know that when you are a parent your children are very special and to know that you would give your child up for Crucifixion truly represents love. If you are feeling unloved or even lonely remember Christ loved us enough to walk His cross up to the hill and be crucified on it for all. Valentine's most people may not relate to Christ love, but I do.. I hope my children realize that love is not about buying gifts but about Christ and his love....